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Monday, August 2, 2010

Arranged marriage in India



Arranged marriages have been traditional in Indian society. Even today an overwhelming majority of Indians in India have their marriages planned by their parents and other family-members. [1]. Arranged matches are made after taking into account factors such as age, height, personal values and tastes, the backgrounds of their families (wealth, social standing), their castes and the astrological compatibility of the couples' horoscopes.

Marriage in India is considered a very important institution, with important financial aspects involved (dowry). Although most marriages are arranged, very few couples in India opt for selecting their partners by themselves, based on their direct interaction with those partners. This is often termed as "love marriage" in India. Love marriages tend to be more common in urban areas as contact between people of different gender outside the family circle is still frowned upon in the rural areas. Among overseas Indians, many marriages are still arranged with the assistance of the parents[2]. Even the so called love marriages in India generally happen with the approval of the parents, although they sometimes be reluctant to give their sanction for it.

In India, marriage is thought to be for life,[3] and the divorce rate is extremely low due to societal and family pressures on the consequences of a separation. In India, 1.1% of marriages result in a divorce compared with over 45.8% for USA[4]. The arranged marriages generally have a much lower divorce rate[5]. Nevertheless, he divorce rates have risen significantly in recent years:

"Opinion is divided over what the phenomenon means: for traditionalists the rising numbers portend the breakdown of society while, for some modernists, they speak of a healthy new empowerment for women."[6]
An arranged marriage is effectively the result of a wide search by both the girl's family and the boy's family[7].

Monday, July 26, 2010

Things To Be Kept In Mind By A New Bride


Things To Be Kept In Mind By A New Bride

Indians and Indian culture both have always been very finicky about the rituals and customs to be followed in each and every religious practise. The best example in which one gets to see all the customs of the Indian origin being practised sacredly is the Indian marriage. Indian marriages have always been the true depiction of the values possessed by the people of India. Indian weddings are in a way the mirror image of the ancient India. Though a lot many changes can be observed in the practices followed in the Indian weddings, but the essence of the wedding remains the same. Indians still consider marriage as the life long bond, the decision of which is taken by the god and is to be resumed for the other seven lives by a couple.

Indian families inspite of their modernised approach always have a number of expectation from their daughter- in- law. According to them, the bride from the very first day should be perfect and adapt all the values and rituals of their house. This is because; people generally do not implement things in their life, the lectures for which they keep on giving to others. One can find an old man suggesting his friend to adopt the modern approach to have a smooth and calm atmosphere in his house, so that clashes do not arises between different generations. But, on the other hand, the same old man can be seen giving lectures to his new daughter- in- law about the meanings of marriage and the harms that the modern thinking can have on her new married life. This is really hypocrite, but one cant really help it. At the end it is in the hand of the bride, what contributions does she make to let the journey of her marriage life move happily and smoothly.

Following are few of the things, which should be kept in mind, by a newly wedded Indian bride, which can help her in leading a smooth married life and also to maintain a healthy balance between her personal and professional life:

The new bride first of all should be very polite and humble in her attitude towards each and every single person she comes across. She needs to be instilled with the values of not loosing her temper in any of the extreme situations.

The new Indian bride should try and understand all the customs and rituals of her new house and should gradually implement things into her daily life practises. The family members should also give her time to adapt the changes and mould herself accordingly.

The new bride must be able to gel well with all the other members of the family. She should have an extrovert attitude and be able to form a bond with each member of the family slowly.

She should give time to herself and to the family to understand each other well. There are many things, which one does not like, but in order to have a normal lifestyle, adjustments need to be made between the bride and her new family.

In case, if the new bride is working, then she should have the capability to maintain a balance between her personal and professional life. Time and care are the things, which are most importantly required to nourish a healthy married life. It takes time to understand the housing practises of the new family, but making little adjustments can actually add to the smoothening of the married life of the couple.

So, by keeping, these small things in mind, a newly wedded Indian bride can succeed in having a hassle free, cheerful and a happy married life

Indias Journey From Arranged Marriages To Love Marriages


Indias Journey From Arranged Marriages To Love Marriages


Life lived in love, will never be dull, a famous quote which describes the meaning of life in a very loving way. We usually get to hear, we get life only once, so live life to the fullest. Life is in itself is a journey, in which we all go through four different stages of life. From being an infant to childhood, then from being a young, lovable teenager to a mature adult, from being a son to son- in- law and then finally till being a father- in- law. Every relation requires a lot of love and understanding. In our life we get to make a number of bonds, but, one bond, which remains forever, is the bond of marriage. Wedding is a ceremony, which has from ages been witnessed as the purest of all bonds, shared between two human beings.

Earlier the couple use to marry first, and then eventually they used to fall in love. But, now the times have changed and era has come where loves comes first, making marriage take a backseat. Today, it is very important for the bride and the groom to know each other, before tying the knot of marriage. the times are gone, when the Indian brides and grooms used to see each others faces after their marriage, and were asked to live their whole life with that person, whether they like it or not. There were hardly any love marriages practised in our grandfathers time.

Our country has always been given the status of a backward region, where people have orthodox thinking and are not willing to accept and understand the bond of love. The parents have always been so rigid in their thinking and perceptions related to love marriage. In fact inter- caste and love marriages were considered a crime and children were strictly not allowed to do wedding out of their religion or caste. Even a girl talking to a boy was also considered cheap. The mentality was such that girls were not even sent out of their houses and if they wanted to study then they used to be a part of the separate school or college for women education. In some cases, if out of revolution a couple belonging to different caste marries each other, then they used to be murdered. Such heinous crime was considered marrying a bride or groom from different caste in Indian marriages.

But now, slowly and steadily the people are getting more open to love marriages and they are understanding and happily accepting their childrens choices as their son- in- law or daughter- in- law. The parents have started understanding the emotions of their children and accepting their love bonds. This ways they are also giving them the right to take the most important decision of their life, i.e. choosing a life partner for themselves. Inter- caste Indian weddings are slowly but setting examples for the rigid thinking of the other people of the country and for those belonging to other countries, to change their mindsets in regard to love marriages.

The journey from arranged marriages to love marriages in India has really been tough. But it is in fact a true achievement for youngsters, who have finally got the right to live life their own way. But, still there are many families in the country who consider love marriage as a crime. They really need to understand that marriage is a very important decision in their childrens life, the right of which should be given to the child himself. Because at the marriageable age a child is mature enough to decide what is good and what is bad for him. Imposing the family decision on children is just not the right thing to do, so the child should be free to choose the life partner for himself and lead a happy married life with the person he loves and understands the most.

Indian marriage and dowry



Indian marriages are deemed almost necessary in the Indian society. Arranging a marriage is the responsibility of Indian parents and other relatives of both bride and groom.
Indian Marriage alliances entail some redistribution of wealth as well as building and restructuring social realignments, and, of course, result in the biological reproduction of families. In India there is no greater event in a family than a wedding. In arranging and conducting of marriages, the complex permutations of Indian social systems best display themselves. Some parents begin marriage arrangements on the birth of a child, but most wait until later.
Essentially, India is divided into two large regions with regard to Hindu kinship and marriage practices, the north and the south. Additionally, various ethnic and tribal groups of the central, mountainous north, and eastern regions follow a variety of other practices.
Re-Marriages in India. Rules for the remarriage of widows differ from one group to another. Generally, lower-ranking groups allow widow remarriage, particularly if the woman is relatively young, but the highest-ranking castes discourage or forbid such remarriage. The most strict adherents to the nonremarriage of widows are Brahmans. Almost all groups allow widowers to remarry. Many groups encourage a widower to marry his deceased wife's younger sister (but never her older sister).
Finding the perfect partner for one's child can be a difficult task. People use their social networks to locate potential brides and grooms of appropriate social and economic status. Increasingly, urban dwellers use classified matrimonial advertisements in newspapers & searching online matrimonial sites. The advertisements usually announce religion, caste, and educational qualifications, stress female beauty and male (and in the contemporary era, sometimes female) earning capacity, and may hint at dowry size.
The most dramatic aspect of this asymmetrical relationship is the giving of dowry in India.
In many communities throughout India, a dowry has traditionally been given by a bride's kin at the time of her marriage. In ancient times, the dowry was considered a woman's wealth--property due a beloved daughter who had no claim on her natal family's real estate--and typically included portable valuables such as jewelry and household goods that a bride could control throughout her life. However, over time, the larger proportion of the dowry has come to consist of goods and cash payments that go straight into the hands of the groom's family.
In the late twentieth century, throughout much of India, dowry payments have escalated, and a groom's parents sometimes insist on compensation for their son's higher education and even for his future earnings, to which the bride will presumably have access.
Some of the dowries demanded are quite oppressive, amounting to several years' salary in cash as well as items such as motorcycles, air conditioners, and fancy cars. Among some lower-status groups, large dowries are currently replacing traditional bride-price payments. The dowry is becoming an increasingly onerous burden for the bride's family. India Anti-dowry laws exist but are largely ignored, and a bride's treatment in her marital home is often affected by the value of her dowry. Increasingly frequent are horrible incidents, particularly in urban areas, where a groom's family makes excessive demands on the bride's family--even after marriage--and when the demands are not met, murder the bride, typically by setting her clothes on fire in a cooking "accident." The groom is then free to remarry and collect another sumptuous dowry. The male and female in-laws implicated in these murders have seldom been punished.Dowry deaths resulting from marriages have been the subject of numerous media reports in India and other countries and have mobilized feminist groups to action. Some analysts have related the growth of this phenomenon to the growth of consumerism in Indian society.
After marriage arrangements are completed, a rich panoply of wedding rituals begins. Each religious group, region, and caste has a slightly different set of rites. Generally, all Indian marriages involve as many kin and associates of the bride and groom as possible. The bride's family usually hosts most of the ceremonies and pays for all the arrangements for large numbers of guests for several days, including accommodation, feasting, decorations, and gifts for the groom's party. These arrangements are often extremely elaborate and expensive and are intended to enhance the status of the bride's family. The groom's party usually hires a band and brings fine gifts for the bride, such as jewelry and clothing, but these are typically far outweighed in value by the presents received from the bride's side. After the Indian bride and groom are united in sacred rites attended by colorful ceremony, the new bride may be carried away to her in-laws' home, or, if she is very young, she may remain with her parents until they deem her old enough to depart. A prepubescent bride usually stays in her natal home until puberty, after which a separate consummation ceremony is held to mark her departure for her conjugal home and married life.

INDIAN MARRIAGE


INDIAN MARRIAGE:
In India, marriage is one of the biggest events in a person's life. It marks the beginning of a new season. Marriage is essential for every person in India; at least this is the feeling of many. It is not a simple event. An Indian marriage stands out from the rest. This is essentially because many marriages in India are arranged. Just like you have no choice of the place you were born, marriage can work well when arranged and, more and more Indian couples continue to prove this to be so. Parents of the bride and groom are responsible for choosing the right partner for their son or daughter. Parents will always want their children to have the best and, they are trusted to choose the ideal mate. Parents and relatives in India have been playing matchmaker for a very long time and, they have perfected the art. When a child is born into a family in India, many parents and relatives start to think far and, as the child grows, they already have in mind a mate that would be suitable. It is pretty exciting just thinking about it. In India, some groups like Rajasthan marry of their children very young.

Many children who are the age of five are united in marriage. However, with changing trends, more and more villages in India are changing. The modern culture has ensured that certain aspects of culture like early marriage are reverted. In the early days, divorce and remarriage were not permitted. Marriage was a must for every girl also. However, these rules have changed and in the modern India, one can divorce as well as get another wife or husband after the divorce. Polygamy and polyandry are offences in India. They are punishable by law. This applies to all those who are Hindus. However, for a Muslim man in India, they can have up to 4 wives. Religion is always intertwined with issues to do with marriage. This is because most people in the world are religious.

An Indian marriage marks a 'Muhurta'. In other words, it marks an auspicious occasion. The wedding is usually conducted in the bride's home or temple but, with modernity comes diversity. Today, the weddings will be held in parks, hotels, halls and many other places. Preparations start very early and, many will congregate in the evening to eat, dance and sing. It is usually a glorious occasion which is marked with pomp and color. Indians are known to be very colorful people and, their weddings are no exception. Several rituals are performed during the wedding ceremony. 'Kanyadana' is one of the rituals that are very important. This ritual involves the bride being given to God symbolically. There are so many other aspects to it and, it paves way for 'saptapadi'. This is another ritual which involves taking steps. Facing north, the couple takes seven steps. 'Agni' or fire is the witness as they take their marriage vows. An Indian marriage is an attraction that will have you amazed and mesmerized. Indians are a people who mark their unions in a distinct style like nowhere else in the world.